I Am Doing Fine, Thanks!

How many of us have been there? In a situation where we feel a need to speak “proper” English and someone asks: “How are you doing?” We freeze. Wait, what was that rule again? Do I answer, “I am doing good” or “I am doing well" with the accompanying forced smile? Time to flip a coin. Heads I’m good, tails I’m well. Actually, I’m neither! Arrghh!

Actually, you’re fine (more on that later). Let’s break this down to see why it actually does not matter whether you say good or well, or whether you are actually feeling the positive affirmation associated with either word in the first place.

Grammatically, there is a clear answer to how to correctly answer “How are you doing?” “Doing” is functioning as the action or state being questioned, and “doing” is a verb; therefore, ideally, we need an adverb here. Most native speakers have known since around 2nd grade that we describe the action or state of a verb by modifying it with an adverb.

Example: She ate her breakfast quickly so she would not be late.

Example: He patiently waited for his paper to be graded.

Here, our -ly adverbs are doing the work of describing the state or manner in which the action of the verb took place.

What is this Verb Doing?

But this is not an open and shut case as our “doing” verb actually behaves a bit differently in relation to a potential modifying adverb than most verbs. With “How are you doing” you are not being asked to describe the manner in which you are actively “doing” something, or how you are performing some unspecified action or activity.

Consider for comparison the question “How are you feeling?” You are not being asked how your are experiencing or performing the action of feeling (i.e. “I am feeling well. My sensation of touch has never been better! Thanks for asking!”). Nor are you being asked the manner or procedure in which you are doing the feeling (“I am feeling with my fingers. Doesn’t everyone?) Instead, you are being asked to describe the ongoing state of your mind, mood, and/or health (depending on the exact context). In English we have a specific adverb to answer this state of mind, mood or health question: it is the word (drumroll please) . . . well.

But this is not the end of the discussion (English refuses to be that simple, for better or worse). In analyzing a bit deeper, we can peel back another layer of linguistic complexity. Pragmatically and intuitively, we realize that someone asking “How are you doing? does not actually desire to know our state of being, or even expect the person being asked to truly express their state of being. Casually asked, in most communicative circumstances, the “How are you doing” question serves primarily only a rhetorical purpose. It is performative.

Performance vs Purpose

“How are you doing” is a good example of the distinction between purpose and performance in language, an important distinction that will lead us down the (correct) path of actually how to answer this question (answer correctly - or at least how to not worry about answering it incorrectly). Simply put, the performance of asking this question does not equate to its purpose. As a linguistic whole, the question serves a pragmatic purpose meant to show empathy and simply open the lines of conversation. It’s really that simple. Nothing more, nothing less. The communicative purpose registers as a blip with us subconsciously; we simply play the game based on social expectations and etiquette following the rules of established discourse convention.

How you are actually doing is irrelevant. Regardless of how you are doing, the polite expectation is to answer with positive affirmation. In short, we are supposed to answer a polite, socially driven question with an equally polite, socially driven answer. We are supposed to answer in the positive.

Ok, so be polite. Answer in the positive. It is rhetorical and pragmatically driven. Fine. But this still begs the questions and seemingly brings us back full circle to our original question. Do I say I am doing well, or I am doing good, or some other alternative? The answer: it does not matter. You can say good or well.

Rhetoric Rules

The reason it does not matter if you are doing good or well is because your interlocutor does not even care if you are doing good or well. In effect, the most important communicative requirement you need to satisfy here is rhetorical, not grammatical. As long as you convey the socially expected nicety of positive affirmation, it really does not matter which variant you choose (within reason; like I said, English is complicated).

Technically, you would be grammatically incorrect to say “good” as it functions as a noun (meaning you are doing acts of goodness - such as, perhaps, charity work). But saying “good” here would be much less of a social misstep than saying, “Not well” (“Oh boy, what can of worms did I just open up with my innocent, conversation purposed question?”).

One caveat. To the extent that people tend to be more persnickety about certain prescriptive grammar rules versus others, you do need to keep your finger on the pulse of things to a degree. Language is a social phenomenon and we are social beings. If we start harshly judging people for using certain grammar constructs incorrectly, then we face potential ostracism. Consider how generations sneered at the otherwise perfectly normal grammatical construct “Me and Billy went to the store” by correcting it to " “Billy and I went to the store.” By all means, be rhetorical. But realize that for the ill-informed or sufficiently prudish, you could be seen as coloring outside the lines.

But judgment by whom? And do I really want to be in anyone’s social company in which I feel my (im)perfect grammar constructs will make me or break me? Fact is, sociolinguistically, the only reason your internal question in the first paragraph of this blog made you freeze was precisely because you were in a particular social circumstance that made you feel the need for an elevated level of speaking (we call this register).

Regardless of who you decide to hang out with, or rub elbows with at the next cocktail party, rest assured that you will be doing good or doing well if you answer with either variant as a response to the never again to be dreaded “How are you doing question.” And if a turf war really does develop, or you sense the battle lines are drawn, simply avoid the good versus well debate altogether by giving both sides an F bomb - “Fine, I’m doing fine, thanks!”